After the Camino

“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed…It feels an impulsion…this is the place to go now.  But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.”  ~Richard Bach

I don’t think there is an ‘after camino’ – only a continuation in a different way.  After almost five (5) weeks of being in the same daily pattern:  look at the length and path to walk that day, have some coffee and/or breakfast before leaving or at the first village of the day, then walk, eat, be with other pilgrims along the way, small chores in between like washing clothes and for many others, foot care and finally sleep.  Get up the next morning and Repeat – I find myself feeling lost.   Life is simple on the Camino, boiled down to the most basic needs in this world – so uncomplicated.  When I was in the taxi leaving town enroute to the Santiago Airport and saw pilgrims walking into Finesterre, I wanted to open the car door, jump out and start walking with them.  The vehicle felt foreign, like a hurling bullet.  Walking is slow, methodical, completely within your own body’s control and strength.  The car felt claustrophobic, too fast and quite frankly, scary.  As the car moved around winding roads across the countryside everything was going by too quickly.  I found myself trying to figure out where ‘the path’ was, looking for pilgrims and yellow arrows to point the way.  All the good ‘one with the world’ feelings were evaporating quickly.

Arriving at the Santiago Airport for my flight to Paris-Orly Airport via Madrid was fortunately a way to begin to ease myself into what was to come.  The airport is small and the security almost non existent.  No one in line and I breezed through.  That changed once my flight arrived in Madrid 45 minutes late due to storms and I did the mad dash for my connection barely making in it the loud, confusing and overwhelming mass of people.  Arriving at Orly, the overwhelm had ratcheted up after being confined in two aircraft over about five (5) hours when I found that while I made my connection, my bag did not.

After filling out a lost bag form with a promise it would be delivered to my airport hotel where I would stay until I left for my final journey home the next day, I called the hotel shuttle and decided that my original plan to go into the Paris that evening was not going to happen.  I needed some solitary time and space.  I’ve been to Paris before and will visit again, but not this time.

I had flown Icelandic Airlines via Reykjavik, on the way over and found that while a bit quirky, the very low airfare and roomier than normal economy seats were an easy trade off.  My departing flight from Paris and connecting flight in Reykjavik both had delays and I began to realize that each leg of my return was mirroring my own desire to delay returning home.  I was missing my home and my animals – don’t get me wrong – but I did not want the Camino to end.  With plenty of time during flights to begin processing my experiences, I thought when I got home I would be ready to re-enter the ‘real world’ but after three days, I am still not.  Typing this message on a regular keyboard rather than my phone is a luxury as is everything I have in my home and office.  I have meandered around my lawn but have yet to put on my walking shoes again.

There is so much more I want to share with all of you who have come along with me on my Camino.  I’ll be posting highlights, how-to’s, and begin to answer many of your questions.  I’m also paying attention to so many of you who have suggested I write a book about my Camino.  That seed is growing inside me.   I am so very grateful for all of the amazing support, and comments, and just all out positivity by so many people throughout my walk along the path.  I could feel you all cheering for me.  Often I was asked if I was walking the Camino alone – I learned that I am not alone and I have so many amazing people in my life, I am just so incredibly humbled and grateful.

I received an email this morning from a dear friend who walked the Camino herself last year which said:

NOW—your Camino truly begins!

Soft steps dear YOU…

 

 

 

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