Living in the Moment

“When making your choice in life, do not neglect to live.”

~ Samuel Johnson

My intention for walking the Camino was ‘to be in the moment’ no matter what the journey brought.  If I began to think “How much further to (insert name of next town) where I can finally take off this backpack for the day?” or “I wonder how my pups at home are doing with me gone?” I’d push out the Cancel Cancel button in my head, take in a deep breath of fresh air, and look around me at the scenery, birds, people and sky and go in to Just Being mode.  It’s harder to stay in JB mode than you might think, but I got better and better at it every day as I walked the varying path.  After five weeks, I had integrated JB quite nicely and practicing being present was a more natural state of being.  Then I returned home.  I’ve written about how hard it was to return to daily life as we know it – to do lists, scheduling calendar items with my clients, along with being caught many times in between being present and planning for tomorrow, next week, etc and feeling a bit lost.

Today I am writing this on an Alaska Airlines flight headed to San Diego with the sole purpose of living in the moment with my very best girlfriend.  She has been diagnosed with incurable and in inoperable cancer with fate putting a finite point on her remaining days here on planet earth.  I wasn’t able to find a house/pet sitter so I’m flying down on the first available flight and returning home later today.  The few hours I will spend with my dear friend will be precious.  Today’s experience is once again an opportunity to live in the moment, knowing that’s all we ever really have.  Staying present with her and open to whatever we experience together will live in our hearts forever, long after we are both gone.

When you walk the Camino, there are memorial grave stones consistently along the path – reminders of pilgrims who passed on during their journey.  Just recently in a FB Camino group, I read about a 60+ fit pilgrim who was immensely enjoying walking the Way.  He had called home and spoken with his daughters telling them about what a wonderful experience he was having.  The next day, the same man passed during the night of an unexpected heart attack.  The outpouring of love and comments about this posting was overwhelmingly bittersweet that he had passed while in a place of joy in his present life.  I also saw a news story recently about a 16 year old boy who had been cycling the Camino with a group from school the day before reaching Santiago.   On both ends of the spectrum – a young boy and an older man – their final days came as surprises.

Comparing that passing with my friend’s illness has given me pause to wonder that if I had a choice – which I will not, nor will you – would I prefer to know that my time here was coming to an end so I could say my goodbyes and put my affairs in order; or, would I want to pass unexpectedly?  Would I live any differently if I knew the end was near?  I keep returning to the thought that if I am living in every moment, it doesn’t really matter.  If I am present with every experience by not living in the past or future, it doesn’t really matter.  Today and this very moment is all that matters.

Living in the moment requires an open mind and an open heart.  No shutting down or hiding from what is, is allowed.  With an open heart filled with love, no fear can reside.  As my friend and I texted each other last night, confirming my arrival and a brief reminder that we will have short periods of time together strung between her need for rest, she wrote, “I still look OK so you don’t need to be scared”.  Not surprising that she would be thinking of me at this time, once again showing the caring loving person that she is.  I remember when my mother had cancer how so many of her friends would speak with her on the phone, but not come to visit because they didn’t want to see her as she was becoming.  Another reminder or ‘note to self’ that we are so much more than our physical bodies and that in staying in the moment, I will see my friend for all the love that she is and will always be.

Precious and cherish are also two words that come to mind.  I lost my husband to illness at a very young age.  I can remember him saying that when we were getting married and he saw me walking down the aisle towards him, the song “Cherish is the word…” was playing in his head.  It’s what I’m hearing in my mind’s eye now, and it’s a great reminder for the time I will spend with my dear dear friend for the next few hours.

​It’s also a great reminder to…..Live each day as if it were your last.

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